LYA LOVE LETTERS 💜
How to give irresistible Touch?
By Lya Serrano
🌟 Tipping the toes: today we'll cover
Are you touch deprived?
The science of touch: Oxytocin (aka our body natural "high")
My 5 steps to become better at touch every night
Are you touch deprived?
My touch story: I spent many years feeling touch-deprived.
Touch is one of my core love languages. However for years, I still didn't recall how important that was for me.
Going back on time, for some time I believed that the only way to get Loving Touch was through my partner.
Until I noticed that I outsourced my largest love language to a beautiful man whose main love language was NOT Touch.
He was never the problem. The problem was that I didn't know how to ask what I needed.
As I developed my erotic and relational skills, got mentored, and exposed myself to feedback from my partner => I learned deeper about my capacity to Give and Receive touch (yes receiving is also an art)
Many people spend years of their lives touch-deprived.
Today I will share 5 key principles from science and Eastern tantric traditions that will connect you more with the pleasure of touch.
The science of touch: Oxytocin (aka the natural way our body keeps us "high")
Imagine the last time someone gave you a looong deep hug, when someone gave you a massage, or you cuddled on the couch with someone... or just think about the last time you made love. Your body was full of Oxytocin.
Whenever we receive and give touch, our body creates a delicious cocktail of neurotransmitters and hormones, where one of the main ingredients is Oxytocin.
⭐ Oxytocin has been shown to decrease stress and anxiety levels, it makes you more empathetic and relaxed around other people; and makes you feel secure in being vulnerable
⭐ Low oxytocin levels have been linked to heightened fears, difficulty to feel affectionate, disturbed sleep and symptoms of depression.
I am a huge 'Oxytocin boost advocate', mainly because it is one of the natural mechanisms that our body has to keep us balanced: well, safe, happy and relaxed.
Touch reduces cortisol levels (stress hormone), and generates Oxytocin (love hormone).
Touch is a great way to also get to know someone closer and in depth.
5 steps for becoming better at touch every night
When I was learning therapeutic massage - and pleasure art techniques, I remember I REALLY wanted to gain more practice and develop my skills.
I learned a lot from the amazing feedback of my lover and practice clients. However, I started doing something different. Every night before sleeping I put myself naked in bed, and I touched myself practicing different types of touch in my own body.
The result was mindblowing.
Becoming a better 'lover' towards myself helped me dramatically to become better at giving breathtaking touch.
Steal here my 5 steps to become better at touch every night:
1. Presence: Time your exploration. Start for example with 10 minutes every night for 7 days in a row. (Importance scoring 4/5)
2. Set and setting: Dim lights. Choose an oil/essence that you like. Set some soft music. (Importance scoring 2/5)
3.Intention: Start touching your body with curiosity. Drop the plans. Bring curiosity with commitment. On the first 7 days try stepping out of the idea of self-pleasure. Try instead exploring your erogenous areas to touch without an agenda. See what happens. (Importance scoring 5/5)
4. Pace: We live in a fast society, we are wired to touch way too fast. Try the opposite. Go V-E-R-Y slow. (Importance scoring 4/5)
5. Technique: Explore different ideas of touch: long strokes, short strokes, vibrating, gentle pinching, kneading your skin like a sourdough, tapping, scratching, firmness, pressure, depth, lightness... you name it (Importance scoring 3/5)
🌟 Bringing it home
✅ The 5-steps night touch ritual is a very beautiful practice to do on your own.
✅ If you have a partner, it's also perfect to do together. Start first on your own for 7 days and then practice on each other for the other 7 days.
This is a great way to give each otherhonest loving feedbackon how you want to be touched.
If you are curious about exploring further touch skills here are a + resources:
The 5 dimensions of Touch, developed by Sex therapists Barry and Emily McCarthy
Sexual healing Dearmouring techniques, developed by Susanne Roursgaard founder of The Gaia Method
Are you curious to learn more about touch? Leave me your comments
Lya Serrano I The Visionary Institute Founder
P.S. Do you want to dive deeper into a more pleasure and purpose based life? Explore here possible ways to work together within tantric programs and courses. Click here
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